Some emotional ups and downs are simply part of adolescence. But when a change lasts more than two weeks, or when several signs appear together, it may not be a "rebellious phase" — it could be the brain sending a signal for help. Drawing on situations commonly seen in families, this guide walks through how to recognize the signs, how to listen, how to access professional support, and what you can do at home, in that order. It is not a substitute for a doctor, but we hope it offers a starting point for thinking about how to talk with your child tonight.
The Visible Signs — When Your Child Begins to Change
Emotional swings during adolescence are not unusual. But if a change lasts more than two weeks, or if several signs appear at the same time, it's worth pausing to take a closer look.
Yellow flags — worth noting, keep watching
- ・Low mood and lack of motivation lasting 1–2 weeks
- ・Fading interest in things they used to enjoy
- ・Becoming irritable more easily over small things
- ・A noticeable drop in study efficiency, with homework dragging on late into the night
Red flags — seek a professional evaluation as soon as possible
- ・Low mood or lack of energy lasting more than two weeks
- ・Refusing to go to school and shutting themselves in their room
- ・Insomnia or early-morning waking, or sleeping more than 12 hours at a stretch
- ・Self-deprecating statements like "I'm useless" or "There's no point in living"
- ・Talk of self-harm or suicidal thoughts, or unexplained injuries on the body
Reference: AACAP Clinical Practice Guideline (2020), WHO Mental Health Atlas (2023)
Three Ways It Can Show Up
Emotional difficulties in adolescence aren't always simple depression. In practice, these three patterns are often said to appear in shifting combinations, or even all at once.
A depressive tone
Reduced motivation, loss of interest, and low self-esteem. Often shows up as physical complaints too — headaches, stomachaches, or loss of appetite.
An anxious tone
Persistent worry, avoidance, a racing heart, or trembling hands. Can also show up as feeling unwell before exams or withdrawing from relationships.
An irritable tone
Frequent irritability or outbursts of anger, and heightened sensitivity to being corrected. This is seen more often than sadness, and is frequently mistaken for a "rebellious phase."
Reference: AACAP (2020), Thapar A, Lancet (2012)
When Your Child Says "I Don't Want to Go to School"
School avoidance isn't necessarily a matter of the child's own motivation. In most cases, it's a sign that several systems — emotional, academic, social, and physical — are asking for help at the same time. Before responding with "Just go" or "Stop skipping," try first asking why they don't want to go.
Emotional
Reduced motivation and difficulty concentrating due to depression or anxiety — for example, erasing and rewriting homework over and over.
Academic
A buildup of setbacks. Avoidance behavior appears when a difficult subject comes up.
Friendships
Tension with classmates, isolation, or bullying. A hard-to-see but common factor.
Physical
Insomnia, somatic symptoms such as headaches or stomachaches, and for girls, discomfort related to menstruation.
Guideline: If strong resistance to going to school continues for more than a week, we recommend a medical evaluation.
What It Means to Listen — Being There for Your Child
Sometimes how you stand by your child matters more than what you say.
First, pause
Put down your phone and close your laptop, so it's clear: "Right now, my attention is on you."
Name the feeling
Instead of jumping straight to analyzing right and wrong, start with something like, "You've really been exhausted lately, haven't you."
Don't judge
While your child is talking, don't interrupt, don't lecture, and don't compare them to other kids.
Stay close
End with, "I'm right here with you." More than any solution, these words are what support them.
What a child needs first isn't an answer — it's permission to feel, "It's okay that this is this hard."
Before You Say That, Wait a Moment
Well-meaning encouragement can sometimes close the door to a child's heart instead of opening it.
✗ You're overthinking it / You're too sensitive
✓ Can you tell me a bit more?
✗ Plenty of kids have it much harder than you
✓ This is really hard for you right now, isn't it
✗ Is school really that terrible?
✓ Lately, what's made going to school feel so hard?
✗ It's just a test
✓ What does this exam mean to you?
✗ Everything I do is for your own good
✓ What do you need from me about this?
About Self-Harm and Wanting to "Disappear"
This is a topic that deserves serious attention, but one you cannot avoid. Research shows that asking about it directly and calmly does not increase risk — in fact, it tells your child that it's okay to talk about it.
Try asking it this way
"Have you had any thoughts lately about hurting yourself, or wanting to disappear?"
Settle the relationship first, then sort out the facts
Hold off on detailed questioning or lecturing until emotions have settled.
Remove hazards from the home
Lock away medications, put away sharp objects, and avoid locking the bathroom door.
Get a professional evaluation within 24 hours
Contact emergency psychiatric or mental health services, and don't leave your child alone.
If you see signs of self-harm or suicidal thoughts in your child, don't hesitate — contact a professional right away. Crisis contact information is provided later on this page.
The Support of Evidence-Based Intervention
Emotional difficulties aren't something that can be resolved by "just thinking positively." In most cases, a child needs support from four directions at once.
① Professional evaluation
A formal diagnosis and severity assessment from a child psychiatrist or mental health specialist.
② Psychotherapy
CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy), IPT-A (interpersonal therapy for adolescents), family therapy, and coordination with school counselors.
③ Medication, when needed
SSRIs are often the first choice, with the physician weighing the benefits against the risks.
④ Home and daily life
Repairing relationships, rebuilding a healthy daily rhythm, and getting sleep, exercise, and sunlight back on track.
Psychotherapy Is More Than Just "Talking"
Proper psychotherapy is one of the core interventions for adolescent emotional difficulties. It usually starts at around once a week, with progress reviewed over roughly 6 to 12 weeks.
CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy)
Helps your child notice the links between thoughts, feelings, and behavior, and practice viewing difficulties from a more flexible perspective.
IPT-A (Interpersonal Psychotherapy for Adolescents)
Focuses on key relationships — with parents, friends, and teachers — to improve communication and how your child copes with changing roles.
Family Therapy
Shifts the focus from "the child's problem" to "how the family relates," adjusting household rules and how feelings are communicated.
Reference: AACAP Practice Parameter (2020), NICE Guideline NG134
About Medication (SSRIs)
Three things we especially want parents to know.
What kind of medication this is
SSRIs (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors) are considered one of the first-line medications for moderate to severe depressive symptoms in adolescents.
It takes time for effects to appear
It generally takes 2 to 4 weeks to start noticing a clear effect, and about 6 to 8 weeks to properly assess whether the medication is working. In the first few weeks, mild nausea, headaches, or changes in sleep can occur, but these usually ease on their own.
Feeling better doesn't always mean fully recovered
Even after mood improves, symptoms like light sleep, daytime fatigue, or difficulty concentrating can linger. This is a common part of the course and is not a reason to stop medication on your own.
Important: Do not stop medication on your own judgment. If your child's mood swings significantly, contact their physician promptly.
What Home and School Can Do — Lower the Load First, Then Ask for More
Whether a child can climb out of an emotional valley depends on the "foundation" of daily rhythm and stress management.
At home
- ・Stop leading with "How was the test?"
- ・Set aside 10 minutes of conversation in the morning and evening
- ・Don't judge, and don't compare them to other kids
- ・Share at least one family meal a day at the table
- ・Take an aimless walk together on weekends
- ・Don't charge phones in the bedroom
At school
- ・Stay in regular contact with the homeroom teacher
- ・Discuss absences or postponing exams when needed
- ・Reduce stimulation with accommodations like seating changes
- ・Arrange a temporary exemption from major presentations
- ・Bring in the school counselor or social worker
- ・Temporarily ease pressure around grades
Principle: first loosen the strained string, then think about how to tighten it again.
Three Small Daily Habits
These may seem obvious, but they are the "foundation work" for steadying emotions.
8 to 10 hours. Lights out before 11 pm, and no screens in the bedroom. Keep the gap between weekday and weekend wake times under an hour.
30 minutes, 3 to 5 times a week. Aim for moderate intensity — enough to work up a light sweat. Outdoor exercise is thought to be more effective than indoor exercise.
5 to 10 minutes in the morning. Getting natural light within an hour of waking helps set the body clock, which can benefit both mood and sleep.
Reference: Molecular Psychiatry (2023, meta-analysis on exercise and depression)
Nutritional Support — What Chienomoto Can Offer
Chienomoto is a functional food aimed at brain health. For adolescent emotional challenges, it is not positioned as a replacement for psychotherapy or SSRIs, but as nutritional support that runs alongside them. It aims to support the areas that often remain after treatment — neural inflammation, energy metabolism, and neural plasticity.
Settling the neural microenvironment
Supporting energy supply
Improving signal transmission efficiency
Main ingredients
- Ferulic Acid (FA)Suppresses neural inflammation (NF-κB pathway), antioxidant
- Angelica keiskei ExtractSupports cerebral microcirculation, regulating mood and rhythm
- PQQ (pyrroloquinoline quinone)Mitochondrial energy metabolism, neuroprotection
- PS (phosphatidylserine)Synaptic signal transmission, supporting cognitive function
Functional foods are not medicine, and are not a substitute for medication or psychotherapy. Please consult your child's physician before deciding whether to use one.
One Family's Journey
Names have been changed to protect privacy. Results vary between individuals, and the same course of progress is not guaranteed for everyone.
High school freshman — Mina (pseudonym)
"My mom finally stopped talking about tests at the dinner table."
Sixteen years old, diagnosed with co-occurring moderate depression and anxiety. For the first three weeks, it took time for the SSRI to take effect, and sleep was slow to improve. On her doctor's recommendation, she began taking Chienomoto 2 (Night) alongside it, along with CBT and family communication adjustments.
- Week 4: Time to fall asleep dropped from about an hour to around 15 minutes
- Week 8: She asked to join the choir club on her own, and spent less time shut in her room
- Week 16: Her relationship with her mother visibly calmed down, and tests were no longer the center of tension
It wasn't just the child who changed — it was the rhythm of the whole family.
Ninth grader — Shun (pseudonym)
"He was finally able to finish writing all the way to the end of a test."
Fourteen years old, brought in for irritability and school refusal, along with reduced attention and morning fatigue. Diagnosed with mild to moderate depression, and under his physician's assessment, the following approaches were combined.
- Medication: Started on a low dose of an SSRI (sertraline-type), adjusted every two weeks
- Nutritional support: Chienomoto 3 (Morning) added, targeting fatigue and attention
- Psychotherapy: Weekly CBT, with family dialogue exercises introduced from the 6th session onward
- School coordination: A gradual return to school after four weeks of rest, with accommodations for seating and workload
Six months later, Shun said on his own, "I'd like a math tutor" — words that hadn't come up once in the previous year.
From a Survey of 230 Parents
Results from a practical survey on adolescent emotional health, conducted among families who have used Chienomoto.
75%
Reported that time to fall asleep shortened to under 30 minutes within one month
75%
Reported that their child's "emotions became more stable"
50%
Reported improvement in attention or verbal communication
Sample: N=230, self-reported survey. Not a randomized controlled clinical trial, and no therapeutic effect is guaranteed.
To Every Parent
You are already doing more than you realize.
Picking up this guide, wanting to understand your child a little better even when you're at your most exhausted — that alone is already a form of support.
Your child being in an emotional valley isn't because you did something wrong. It's because their mind, body, and relationships are all changing dramatically at the same time.
None of us can do everything perfectly. But we can make sure that when our child is in the dark, they are not alone.
Please allow yourself to feel tired — to feel like this is hard, too. Your own stability is what lets your child feel that home won't waver.
Watching closely is where change begins.
Standing beside them is what holds that change.
Five Questions Parents Often Ask
Q. Will this naturally get better once adolescence passes?
A. Some cases do improve naturally, but 30–50% are said to continue into adulthood. "Just waiting and watching" is not necessarily safe.
Q. Are SSRIs addictive? Do they affect development?
A. SSRIs are not classified as addictive substances. As long as they are used appropriately under a doctor's guidance, current evidence does not show a clear adverse effect on adolescent development.
Q. My child said, "There's no point in living." Do they mean it?
A. Take every such statement seriously. Ask about it directly and calmly, remove hazards from the home, and get a professional evaluation within 24 hours.
Q. What did I do wrong?
A. Emotional difficulties are not any one person's fault. What matters isn't tracking down a cause, but starting today to rebuild your family's rhythm together.
Q. Will they fully recover?
A. Many adolescents who receive appropriate treatment improve substantially. Full recovery and a return to normal life can take time. Please watch over their progress with patience.
Where to Turn in a Crisis
If your child shows signs of self-harm, suicidal thoughts, or a severe emotional breakdown, this is a genuine medical emergency. Don't hesitate — seek help immediately.
What you can do before and after contacting help: Stay close and don't place blame. Remove medications and sharp objects. Receive the words "I want to die" without denying or affirming them. Head to the emergency department of your nearest medical facility.
Four Things You Can Start Today
① Book a professional evaluation
Child psychiatry, mental health clinics, or counseling services. An initial online consultation is fine too.
② Slow the pace
This week, try letting go of one non-essential commitment — cram school, a gathering, a family meeting.
③ Start with a small conversation
Ten minutes before bed — no judging, no lecturing, just listening.
④ Take care of yourself
Your own sleep and emotional wellbeing are also part of the foundation for your child moving forward.
Getting through an emotional valley isn't a sprint — it's a long road that calls for pacing.
References
- 1. AACAP. Practice Parameter for the Assessment and Treatment of Children and Adolescents With Depressive Disorders, 2020.
- 2. WHO. World Mental Health Report: Transforming mental health for all, 2022.
- 3. Thapar A, Collishaw S, Pine DS, Thapar AK. Depression in adolescence. Lancet, 2012.
- 4. Bridge JA, et al. Clinical response and risk for reported suicidal ideation and suicide attempts in pediatric antidepressant treatment. JAMA, 2007.
- 5. Singh B, et al. Effectiveness of physical activity interventions for improving depression. Mol Psychiatry, 2023.
Before using this guide: This guide is published free of charge as a public-benefit resource for parents, for educational purposes, and does not constitute medical diagnosis or treatment advice. If your child shows signs of emotional difficulty, self-harm, or suicidal thoughts, please consult a doctor or specialist promptly rather than delaying based on your own judgment.
